How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse


How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse

These 16 tips will help you write your own wedding vows that will take your spouse's breath away.

How to Write Wedding Vows Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse
How to Write Wedding Vows Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse

So, you’re thinking of writing your own vows for your big day. This can be a scary but thrilling experience, because personalized vows can make your wedding day extra special. Writing wedding vows can be a daunting task, though. How do you know what to say? How do you sound authentic but not overly cheesy? Well, you can take a breather. This guide is here to help you learn How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse.

These wedding vows ideas will guide you through the vow-writing process and help eliminate the stress of figuring out how to write your own vows. From planning to writing to reciting, these tips are here to help. Just be sure to keep you and your future spouse in mind as you follow these tips, because you want your vows to reflect the two of you and your relationship. After all, the process of writing your own wedding vows is meant to make your wedding ceremony even more personal and memorable.

Before You Begin

  1. Decide Together
    Perhaps you know that you want to write vows with your partner, but are they on the same page? Make sure that the decision of writing your own wedding vows is one you make together.

  2. Check With Your Officiant
    Not every officiant, house of worship, or tradition of faith allows personalized wedding vows. Check in with your officiant to find out if personalized vows are acceptable. Also be prepared to hand in a copy of your vows early for review. And be sure to make one of these Adorable Custom Vows Notebooks (pictured) for your big day. 

  3. Work Out the Details
    Before you start writing, you must decide: if you and your spouse are writing individual vows or reading the same set of vows to one another, and if you are sharing the vow-writing process or keeping your vows a surprise until the wedding day.

  4. Length and Due Date
    Decide what your limits are. Maximum of 60 seconds? 150 word limit? Additionally, set a due date. Ideally, this should be at least three weeks before the wedding.

  5. Decide on a Structure
    If you’re writing vows separately, try agreeing on a structure so your vows are similar. You want to avoid sounding mismatched.


  1. Start Early
    Your vows should be done well before your wedding day. Give yourself plenty of time to reflect, write, revise, and practice saying your vows.

  2. Take Time to Reflect
    Quietly reflect on special memories with your partner, things you love about them, why your relationship works so well, and so on. You’ll likely come up with a few key points you want to share.

  3. Seek Inspiration
    If may be helpful to read examples of personalized wedding vows online. You’ll get a feel for how DIY wedding vows sound and how long they are.

  4. Consider Your Tone
    Choose a tone that fits your personality and also gels with your partner’s tone. You want your vows to sound like you and match the tone of your partner’s vows.

Writing Your Own Vows

  1. Be Yourself
    Remember that your vows should authentically reflect your personality and your relationship with your partner. While you can seek inspiration elsewhere, be sure you write something meaningful for the two of you.

  2. Remember Your Guests
    It can be easy to forget that people other than your spouse will be listening. Be sure not to include anything too private, embarrassing, or confusing that you don’t want the guests to hear.

  3. Declarations, Stories, and Promises
    Three common elements in personalized wedding vows are: declarations, brief stories, and  promises. If you’re stuck, try adding these elements to your vows.

  4. Avoid Cliches
    Saying things like “you’re my soul mate” or “you’re my best friend” may be true, but it’s not original. Try to stay away from cliche phrases so that your words are as authentic and meaningful as possible.

  5. Stick to Your Limits
    You’ll probably get carried away in the writing process and write much more than you need for your vows. That’s fine. Give yourself time to write and revise so that you can pick out what you really want to say on your wedding day.

Finishing Touches

  1. Practice
    Memorization is optional, practice is not. Practice reading aloud before the big day so you can catch any errors and won’t trip over your words.

  2. Keep a Clean Copy on Hand
    Even if you have your vows memorized, have a copy handy the day of. If you freeze and forget everything you wanted to say, you’ll have a copy of your personalized wedding vows there to save the day. Try a set of these adorable His & Hers Vow Notebooks (pictured) to keep your vows close by. 

Need More DIY Wedding Ideas?

If you need more ideas for your DIY wedding, check out these gorgeous DIY wedding projects below.

  1. This Breathtaking Bohemian Outdoor Wedding Altar would make a gorgeous centerpiece for your summer wedding. 

  2. Need a charming wedding confetti toss idea to top off your rustic wedding? Check out these adorable Pocketful of Love Confetti Bags.

  3. If you have little ones attending your ceremony, consider these "I Do" Printable Activities for Kids to help keep them busy during your wedding ceremony and reception. 

What made you decide to write your own vows?

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